Our story
We started as a small group of support persons trading notes in late-night messages — sisters, mothers, best friends, and a handful of professionals — all trying to figure out how to be useful without becoming part of the harm. We kept hitting the same walls: well-meaning advice that didn't fit, frameworks designed for the person inside the relationship, no language for our role.
Tactical Love is what came out of those conversations. It pairs the academic and clinical literature on coercive control with the practical wisdom of people who have been the friend on the other end of the call. We share what we have learned in the form of a published book, an evolving library of guides, blog writing, and one-on-one coaching.
What guides us
Safety first, always
Every recommendation we make is filtered through the safety of the person inside the relationship and the people supporting them. We are careful with what we share, where, and how.
Clarity over comfort
We name what is happening in plain language. Coercive control hides in vagueness; we work to be specific even when it is uncomfortable.
Empowerment, not rescue
We do not teach people to rescue their loved ones. We teach support persons to stay close, stay informed, and stay steady, so the door remains open.
Evidence and lived experience
Our work is built on peer-reviewed research and on what we have lived through. Both belong on the page; neither alone is enough.
Want to learn how to support your person well?
Start with the book, browse the library, or book a coaching session. Whatever the right entry point is, we will meet you there.